


Oh No

by Pluttskutt



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Multi, i cant believe i made this a multi chapter one, i mean i can i do it all the time someone take these aus away from me, look there was even tag well here we go no turning back, oh no not a coffee shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 06:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluttskutt/pseuds/Pluttskutt
Summary: Dorian Pavus is a regular at a coffee shop in the city near his job and they've hired a new barista who is handsome as every barista is, but Dorian is sure he's an imp in disguise and he will not flirt with him no ser.





	1. Whipped Cream

**Author's Note:**

> I published it on my tumblr but multi-chaptered work is hard to keep track off on there so I'm publishing it here too. It will be three chapters so it's a short one.

The warmth from the coffee house hit Dorian’s face when he entered, as did the scent of  coffee, like always. Not that he was surprised of that since it was a coffee place — Espresso House; largest chain in Skyhold, maybe even in Ferelden.

Muffins, brownies, pies, and cakes lined up behind the glass display. They also had sandwiches and yoghurt but Dorian wasn’t interested in those. How unhealthy could he before lunch was the question of the day. The quiet moment between the breakfast rush and the lunch rush offered him peace to take his time searching the display for what he wanted.

“There we go.” A woman said from the register.  “Take your time to understand the rhythm of how we work here, it’s important you talk with your coworkers.” Sounded like the manager instructed a new barista.

Dorian looked up to see if he was right, and he recognized Josephine with her neatly updo hair and white shirt, as he was a regular and had talked with her more than once. He glanced at the new barista; an elf, big ears with an industrial piercing in the left one easily spotted given his side-cut, hair a lavender curly mess, shirt under his apron a dark green shade to point out that he was indeed a barista.

“Because of your antisocial demeanour, you have to make up for it with skill, such as speed or learning the ingredients in everything for potential allergies," Josephine said, brutally honest, unlike her as she often took a more diplomatic wording to get her point across.

Dorian averted his eyes and looked at the display again. Chocolate muffins with chocolate chips on it, his mouth watered at the sight, but he reminded himself he wanted to try something new, namely the lime cheesecake with raspberry meringue topping. 

"Okay, you're all set here so I will go check the inventory, I'll be just in the back if you need me."

Lime pie, a mini muffin — hold up, was that a huge chocolate cake, how had he not seen a huge chocolate cake before? That changed everything. Wait what about something to drink? Why were there so many options? He glanced up.

The new guy stood alone by the machines, hands raised to his hair as he pulled it back, twisted it, and put it in place with a clip.

Dorian watched him, realising he had an order to place and shouldn't stare at people. "Excuse me, can I order?" he asked with a smile, finally done with his order in his head.

The elf looked at him, blue eyes big, smile small and stiff, and walked to the register. "Of course, sorry, what will it be then?" All baristas had a perfectly sculptured face with the perfect smile plastered on their young faces, but this one did not plaster a big and welcoming face on his perfect face.

“Lime cheesecake with raspberry meringue, a chocolate cookie, and a caramel latte." That was it, the complete order from top to bottom, and he knew he'd get a sugar kick but it was so worth it.

“Would you like whipped cream with your cheesecake and your latte?” He worked the register swiftly, reaching for plastic gloves to grab Dorian's order with.

"Yes." Dorian nodded, putting his card in, admiring the new feature that allowed him to pay without inputting his pin if the cost was under a certain amount.

"Coming right up, would you like your latte in a mug or cup to bring with you?" The barista asked, nametag not in sight on his chest, glancing at new customers walking in.

"A mug is fine." Dorian smiled, walking to the end of the counter to wait for his order, grabbing a tray to put it all on. 

The door to the back opened and the manager came back out, tying an apron around her and moving her lips, muttering silently. "Leila called, there are complications with the commute so she'll be late, I'll take the register." She walked to the register, smiling and greeting the new customers.

Dorian looked around and spotted a small round table with a cosy armchair. _Perfect,_ he thought, _I can't spill out my latte walking that small distance._

The barista walked up to him and put his cheesecake and cookie — both on separate plates — on his tray. "Your drink will be right up," he said walked away.

Dorian looked at his cheesecake. The whipped cream was never enough, was it? "Could I-" he began, looking up, only to realise the barista was already back with his drink. "Oh, sorry, I… thank you," he said, grabbing the mug to put on his tray.

"Did I give you the wrong order?" he asked, frowning because to screw up his first order did sound like a good accomplishment his first day.

"No, I wanted to ask for more whipped cream," Dorian corrected, "if it's not too much." He smiled, trying to appear charming but not too obvious as flirting wasn't a thing one should do to staff — ever.

He quirked an eyebrow at that, corner of lips twitching. "Sure," he said, corner of his mouth turning up to show a little of his teeth, and he took the plate and walked away.

Dorian thought he'd black out for a second. That smile had been mischievous for sure, like a little imp laughing at a comment he hadn't dared to say out loud, and his teeth had been sharp — akin to canine.

He came back quickly, smile gone but corner of lips pouting like it wanted to make an unwelcome appearance again. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Dorian said, and saw that the little mischievous elf had exaggerated slightly with the whipped cream, but it wasn't a mountain on his cheesecake so he saw no fault in it. "And for the extra cream." He grabbed his tray, smiling.

This time he got a smile back, and the barista vanished to take care of new customers.


	2. Ugh No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke is not fun they're a horrible friend and Dorian is suffering and Fenris isn't helpful at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use coffee shop AU loosely because I don't have anything more planned for that part. Fenris/Hawke is in the background but like what is plot what are main characters what is anything really

Dorian stirred his tea with his little teaspoon, kindly given to him by one of Hawke's friends when they moved in together and announced they had nothing in the way of cutlery and only paper plates to eat on, and stared at the untouched newspaper in front of him. Why did they even get newspapers when he could just surf the web and get constant updates on news from all over the world?

"Good?" Hawke asked, gesturing to his mug, whilst pouring themselves one.

Dorian sighed and rested his chin in his palm. "Why are baristas hot?" he asked, looking at Hawke.

Hawke grinned and sat down opposite him. "Let me guess, the elf with mermaid hair who gives you extra whipped cream," they said, sipping their tea.

A deeper sigh escaped Dorian's lips as he slouched in his chair. He knew he couldn't because one couldn't —shouldn't— flirt with a barista or anyone else while they were working. So far he had no luck spotting the lavender haired little imp down at the nearest Espresso House anywhere else though —not that he planned to stalk him but he had encountered Josephine at the gym and made a friend, so why had he not met the one who had given him extra whipped cream since he asked for it the first time?

Fenris emerged from the bathroom, fixing the hem of his shirt, just in time to join their conversation. He ran his fingers through Hawke's hair absently as he passed them and picked up his phone from his front pocket with his other hand.

"Yes, him," Dorian responded, crossing his arms over each other on the table. "I'm not acting on it, ever." A smart decision as hitting on someone when they were working was out of line, and Dorian didn't want to be one of those customers, so he simply admired the barista from afar.

Fenris pulled the chair out beside Hawke and sat down, furiously typing on his phone. "Mermaid elf?" he questioned, looking up at Hawke for clarification.

"He's got purple hair." Hawke smiled for themselves proud of their joke.

Dorian frowned, appalled by the mistake. "It's lavender, not purple," he corrected.

Hawke pouted and nodded slowly. "Ah yes, my mistake, Dorian wants to bang the barista with lavender hair." 

Dorian's mouth hung open at the comment, struggling to find any words. "Kaffas Hawke, don't be crude!" He wanted to smack them but sat too far away and getting up to do so would just give them a heads start to avoid it.

Fenris had stopped typing and he had turned his gaze upon Dorian. "Huh," he said, and looked back at his phone. 

Dorian blinked, stunned by his reaction for a moment. "No, no huh, no banging, no nothing," he said, raising his index finger in the air. "You-" he pointed at Hawke, "-will never speak of this again."

Hawke smiled sweetly and tilted their head a little to the side to appear innocent. "I would never cause you grievance," they promised, pouting as if the thought of it made them sad.

Dorian deadpanned stared at them and their eyes locked, neither wavering. Two friends locked in a battle to the death; first one to blink would bring dishonor upon their family, suffer the humiliation for days to come, and most devastating of all —cook dinner.

"I'm going," Fenris announced, and pulled his chair back from the table.

Hawke broke eye contact and looked at him. "No, why? We're having fun." An untrue statement that wouldn't hold in court.

Fenris rolled his eyes. "Mhm." It didn't hold up to him either.

"How are you getting home?" Hawke asked, sneaking an arm around his waist to lock him in for a moment longer.

Fenris smiled, chuckling lightly. "My baby brother is picking me up." 

Dorian frowned because he didn't remember that Fenris had a little brother, but didn't question because they had known each other for too long to ask if he really had a baby brother.

"You have a brother?" Hawke asked in his place, narrowing their eyes in a frown. "Since when?"

Fenris stared at them.

"I just- you never mentioned him," Hawke defended their question. "Right Dorian?"

Dorian froze in place, eyes darting between Fenris and Hawke as he thought long about his answer. "I've never met him, why don't you invite him up?" He ignored the daggers Hawke sent his way.

Fenris looked at him, corner of lips tugging slightly upwards like he wanted to smile but held it back. "I'll ask next time, gotta go." He kissed Hawke's cheek quickly, and walked to the hallway.

"Want me-" Hawke began, but was cut off by Fenris before they got up from their chair.

"I'll call you if I get lost," Fenris called back from the hallway. The door opened and shut, leaving Dorian and Hawke alone in their home again.

"I think I remember him mentioning a sibling but like I can't… I don't have a face on him," Hawke mused, scratching their chin.

"Strange." Dorian couldn't remember hearing about it before either; Fenris had a sibling yes but baby brother came as a shook, given that he had never heard of him before.

Hawke snapped their fingers. "No wait, I remember now, they had some sort of fall out before we became friends, odd how he'd just pick him up here then."

"Agreed." Dorian sipped his tea, and glanced at the clock. He groaned when he remembered he had a date scheduled, well no, more like an over-the-top booty call with the most intoxicating man he knew. 

Hawke leant forward and rested their elbows on the table. "You know you could cancel, try tinder, make your preference lavender hair and maybe-"

Dorian slammed his hand on the table. "Not another word!"

Hawke snickered, smirk wide enough to remind Dorian of the impish barista. At least there was a turn off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it don't forget to leave a kudos and a comment ( ˘ ³˘)♥


	3. Baby Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris' baby brother is coming over for dinner, Hawke still won't mind their own business and leave Dorian alone, the cake is burnt, yes it's the perfect evening indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this hahAHA thank you for reading this short silly thing (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)

Four plates. Four clean plates even, how marvellous. "Stop dropping our plates," Dorian said, and examined the fourth one to be sure there were no cracks in it.

"I'll think about it," Hawke promised, and stirred the pasta. "Honey," they called out in their sweet voice. In a matter of seconds, Fenris stood by their side, watching them cook. "Can you get the colander?"

"Yes, anything else?" He was quick to do as asked and put the colander in the sink. He moved out of the way as quickly when Hawke near tossed the pasta in it. "Careful." 

Hawke rolled their eyes. "I'm always careful."

Both Dorian and Fenris snorted. "Our plates beg the differ," Dorian said, picking one up to show a chip at the edge. "Guess I should be thankful I don't bring dates over." He put the plate where Hawke sat so their guest wouldn't see it, or at least not be bothered by it.

"Haven't seen your mermaid barista on tinder?" Hawke asked, pouring back the pasta in the pot. 

Fenris bit his lower lip. "I'll make the sauce," he offered, and opened the fridge to get the ingredients.

Dorian took a deep breath. "First, he's not a mermaid, he has lavender coloured hair not multicoloured." An important distinction for him. "Secondly, I don't flirt with him at his job and I'm not about to ruin our special relationship with-"

"Couldn't shut up about him last weekend until you hooked up with someone else," Hawke mused.

Dorian shut his jaw tight and stared at them, offended at being cut off and that Hawke called him out like that in front of Fenris. "It's not someone else, it's someone, I'm not dating the barista." He stopped himself from running a hand through his hair in frustration. Hawke would not get to him.

"Can't you just do your charm and bone him already so we can move on?" Hawke crossed their arms over their chest and raised an eyebrow.

Fenris snorted and brought a hand up to his mouth to cover it up with a cough. At that moment his phone vibrated, showing he had gotten a text. "My baby brother is here," Fenris said, and held the spatula for someone else to take over.

Dorian grabbed it to vent his frustration into cooking. "I don't want to bone him," he hissed.

Fenris parted his lips, but bit down and slipped out with no further comment. 

"You're being very defensive about how much you don't want to bone him." Hawke filled a bringer of water and put it on the table.

Dorian let out a deep frustrated groan. "Would you stop saying bone?"

Hawke grinned and leant back in their chair.

Dorian narrowed his eyes at their proud display. "Bone is banned, hear me? Banned! No one mentions bone again in this house-"

"Apartment."

Dorian shut his jaw. It felt like steam came out of his ears because his head was about to explode. "Kaffas Hawke just..." He turned around and stabbed the pasta with the spatula. "Your boyfriend is bringing his baby brother for dinner, would you behave?" he muttered, hoping that appealing to that would work as Hawke clearly couldn't care less about how awkward he felt.

"Baby brother," they repeated, chuckling.

As on cue, the door opened and Fenris' voice sounded in a foreign language. 

Hawke's eyes widened, and they looked at Dorian. "What are they saying?" they whispered. "Is he talking about how trash the apartment is?"

Dorian doubted that very much as they lived in an expensive complex and the rent proved that. "I'm not fluent in elvish," he hissed. Even if he was, he wouldn't help Hawke, in fact, he wished he was fluent so he could rub it in Hawke's face.

"Dorian, Hawke," Fenris said, stood in the doorway to the kitchen. The left corner of his lips turned up slightly in a small grin. "This is my baby brother, Ariel." He presented the shorter elf next to him.

They didn't look much alike in their appearance but for their unusual hair colours, Ariel having lavender curls and not white, and both of them sharing a liking to dark colours, clear as Ariel wore all black except his socks that had the motive of kittens playing with yarn. "Hello," he greeted Hawke first, bowing his head ever so slightly but not breaking eye contact. "Thanks for the invite, I like free food." He smiled.

Hawke opened their mouth, grinning wildly because this Ariel was the barista at Dorian's favourite Espresso House.  "Yeah, of course! Who doesn't? Right Dorian?" They pushed their chair back and stood up, walking to the stove where Dorian stood frozen on spot.

Fenris' grin widened even after his attempts to push it down. "Dorian, meet my baby brother." He empathized the word baby and looked about as wicked the first time Ariel had looked given Dorian extra whipped cream.

"Right!" he said, unnecessarily loud, as every bit of him died. "Nice to meet you." He managed to control his tone better and glanced at Hawke to know for sure they hadn't known Ariel was the barista. How could he not have realised? How utterly convenient it had been for Fenris to bring up his baby brother after he overheard them talking about the hot barista and Hawke then inviting Ariel..

Hawke shook their head slightly, eyes wide. "So, Ariel, what do you wanna drink?" they asked, to break the awkward silence Ariel had created but was not at fault for.

"Just water is fine, thank you," he answered, smiling.

Fenris put a hand on his shoulder, gesturing to the seat next to where Dorian would sit at the round table.

Ariel nodded but said something in their language, fingers fidgeting.

"Hawke, can you show Ariel the bathroom? I'll help Dorian," Fenris suggested.

Hawke nodded and walked away, leaving Dorian with their boyfriend until they came back.

"Think they'll stop pestering you about boning the hot barista now," Fenris whispered, snickering to himself as put a coaster for the pot on the table.

Dorian merely smiled and hoped it masked his internal pain well enough. "Have you told him?" he whispered, barely moving his lips as he put the pot down.

Fenris raised an eyebrow and gave him a look, as if he was stupid enough to do so. "Why don't we get this over with, Ariel," he raised his voice to call out, but Dorian shushed him.

"What?" Ariel asked, as they came back into the kitchen at that moment.

_ Maker damn the timing of everything, _ Dorian thought,  _ Maker burn me just ignite me right here.  _ "Food's ready!" Dorian called out. "Everyone sit. Eat before it gets cold!" He rushed them, praying to the maker that Fenris would keep what he knew to himself. Of course, given the mischievous behaviour Fenris possessed  —and shared with his baby brother— he couldn't relax until they opened the first wine bottle.

Hawke and Fenris stood for most of the chatter through the meal. Hawke because they were a nervous wreck after trying to convince their best friend to bang their boyfriend's baby brother, and Fenris to make up for the lack of conversation on said baby brother's part. It did get better after Ariel had eaten two portions, which meant he was either starving or the food actually tasted good.

Halfway through his third, he scrunched his nose, and narrowed his eyes.  "Something is burning." Spoken like it was a fact, he didn't react in any way to indicate he'd go find the source.

Hawke's eyes widened as they shot up from the table. "The cake!" They ran to the oven without grabbing mittens.

Fenris swore and threw himself after Hawke to protect them from burning their fingers off. "It's dripped all over the oven, careful!"

Dorian closed his eyes, rubbing his nose with two fingers. Not only did his head hurt, but the whole spectacle struck him to the core and he just wanted to go to bed and declare the day over.

Ariel rested his elbow on the table, stabbing the remains of his food on his plate. "No cake, huh?" He rested his chin in his palm, looking at the oven that stank of burnt food. "Guess that means no extra whipped cream."

"Hawke said they'd…" Dorian trailed off and looked at Ariel. "What?" he asked, throat dry even after all he had been drinking.

One corner of Ariel's lips turned up, small grin flashing his teeth for a moment. He looked away and put down his fork. "I think I can help you," he said, back to his quiet voice and oh so pleasant smile. He stood up and walked away from the table.

Dorian wanted to scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments, if you liked this don't forget to leave kudos and comment again~

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if you did then don't forget to kudos and leave a comment o(≧∇≦o)


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